Friday, December 28, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Keith Olbermann on Bill Moyers Journal
Keith Olbermann's Interview with Bill Moyers on December 15th.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Against Gun Control
Why do mass shootings happen in "gun free zones"? Because people can't carry guns for self defense in those zones.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Meditation Increases Attention - Study by Scientific American
This video shows how neuroscientists have discovered a real world example of how meditation can increase your attention to notice things that non-meditators can't.
In the study, subjects are shown 2 objects at a half-second gap and they miss the second object. After 3 months of meditation their results improve significantly.
When you're concentrating on something and miss something else that should be obvious, that's the attentional blink. New research shows that meditators can avoid this gap in perception.
Such Meditation practices can help with Attention Deficit Disorder and other similar mental illnesses.
In the study, subjects are shown 2 objects at a half-second gap and they miss the second object. After 3 months of meditation their results improve significantly.
When you're concentrating on something and miss something else that should be obvious, that's the attentional blink. New research shows that meditators can avoid this gap in perception.
Such Meditation practices can help with Attention Deficit Disorder and other similar mental illnesses.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Top 10 Quotes of 2007
Top 10 Quotes taken from Time.com
#1. "I really am not the kind of guy that sits here and says, 'Oh gosh, I'm worried about my legacy.'"
— President GEORGE W. BUSH, when asked about his falling approval numbers and mounting criticism of the Iraq War during an interview with CBS' 60 Minutes (Jan. 14, 2007)
#2. "In Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country."
— MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, president of Iran, responding to a question about the treatment of gays and lesbians in Iran during a visit to Columbia University in New York City (Sept. 24, 2007)
#3. "This record is not tainted at all. At all. Period.
— San Francisco Giants slugger BARRY BONDS, after breaking Hank Aaron's Major League Baseball all-time home-run record with his 756th career homer amid rampant speculation that he has used steroids. Bonds has always denied that he ever "knowingly" used performance-enhancing substances, but he was indicted in November for allegedly lying to a federal grand jury about using them (Aug. 7, 2007)
#4. "If you didn't like Darfur, you're going to hate Baghdad."
— Gen. DAVID H. PETRAEUS, warning of the consequences of an early troop withdrawal from Iraq (Aug. 14, 2007)
#5. "This is it. This is where it all ends. End of the road. What a life it was. Some life."
— Virginia Tech gunman CHO SEUNG-HUI, in a chilling video he made and sent to NBC News before killing 32 people and committing suicide in the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history (Apr. 16, 2007)
#6. "I don't think they're piling on because I'm a woman. I think they're piling on because I'm winning."
— HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON, on intensifying criticism by rivals for the Democratic presidential nomination (Nov. 2, 2007)
#7. "The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton. We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?"
— AL GORE, in an interview with the British paper The Sun, before adding that he believes in 10 years it will be too late to save the planet (June 18, 2007)
#8. "I spent the better part of the past three months enduring criticism that is normally leveled at some kind of genocidal tyrant."
— RUPERT MURDOCH, News Corp. owner, on the outcry over his purchase of the Wall Street Journal (Aug. 8, 2007)
#9. "Hello, Condoleezza Rice? You have me to deal with now."
— A MASKED HAMAS GUNMAN, joking into the telephone of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas after taking control of his government compound (June 15, 2007)
#10. "Why don't you just shut up?"
— KING JUAN CARLOS, of Spain, to Hugo Chávez at a summit in Chile after the Venezuelan President called former Spanish Prime Minister José María Aznar a fascist (Nov. 10, 2007)
#1. "I really am not the kind of guy that sits here and says, 'Oh gosh, I'm worried about my legacy.'"
— President GEORGE W. BUSH, when asked about his falling approval numbers and mounting criticism of the Iraq War during an interview with CBS' 60 Minutes (Jan. 14, 2007)
#2. "In Iran, we don't have homosexuals, like in your country."
— MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, president of Iran, responding to a question about the treatment of gays and lesbians in Iran during a visit to Columbia University in New York City (Sept. 24, 2007)
#3. "This record is not tainted at all. At all. Period.
— San Francisco Giants slugger BARRY BONDS, after breaking Hank Aaron's Major League Baseball all-time home-run record with his 756th career homer amid rampant speculation that he has used steroids. Bonds has always denied that he ever "knowingly" used performance-enhancing substances, but he was indicted in November for allegedly lying to a federal grand jury about using them (Aug. 7, 2007)
#4. "If you didn't like Darfur, you're going to hate Baghdad."
— Gen. DAVID H. PETRAEUS, warning of the consequences of an early troop withdrawal from Iraq (Aug. 14, 2007)
#5. "This is it. This is where it all ends. End of the road. What a life it was. Some life."
— Virginia Tech gunman CHO SEUNG-HUI, in a chilling video he made and sent to NBC News before killing 32 people and committing suicide in the deadliest school shooting in U.S. history (Apr. 16, 2007)
#6. "I don't think they're piling on because I'm a woman. I think they're piling on because I'm winning."
— HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON, on intensifying criticism by rivals for the Democratic presidential nomination (Nov. 2, 2007)
#7. "The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton. We have to ask ourselves what is going on here?"
— AL GORE, in an interview with the British paper The Sun, before adding that he believes in 10 years it will be too late to save the planet (June 18, 2007)
#8. "I spent the better part of the past three months enduring criticism that is normally leveled at some kind of genocidal tyrant."
— RUPERT MURDOCH, News Corp. owner, on the outcry over his purchase of the Wall Street Journal (Aug. 8, 2007)
#9. "Hello, Condoleezza Rice? You have me to deal with now."
— A MASKED HAMAS GUNMAN, joking into the telephone of Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas after taking control of his government compound (June 15, 2007)
#10. "Why don't you just shut up?"
— KING JUAN CARLOS, of Spain, to Hugo Chávez at a summit in Chile after the Venezuelan President called former Spanish Prime Minister José María Aznar a fascist (Nov. 10, 2007)
Top 100 Motivational Quotes
1. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.
- Aristotle
2. The best way out is always through.
- Robert Frost
3. Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
- William B. Sprague
4. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein
5. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
- Henry Ford
6. I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.
- Oprah Winfrey
7. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan
8. You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
9. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Goethe
10. You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
- Zig Ziglar
11. Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
- Mahatma Gandhi
12. Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
- Napoleon Hill
13. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
- Truman Capote
14. Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare.
- Japanese Proverb
15. In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
16. If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet.
- Isaac B. Singer
17. Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.
- Unknown
18. Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
- Charles F. Kettering, Engineer and Inventor
19. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain
20. Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success.
- Unknown
21. Some succeed because they are destined. Some succeed because they are determined.
- Unknown
22. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford
23. Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.
- Albert Einstein
24. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
- Hugh Downs
25. If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
- Marie Osmond
26. Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.
- Roy Goodman
27. If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.
- E. Joseph Cossman
28. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
29. We judge of man's wisdom by his hope.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
30. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain
31. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain
32. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
33. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain
34. The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.
- Richard B. Sheridan
35. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
36. "Act or accept."
- Unanonymous
37. Many great ideas go unexecuted, and many great executioners are without ideas. One without the other is worthless.
- Tim Blixseth
38. The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono
39. Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
- Dr Phil
40. Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.
- Stephen R. Covey
41. People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.
- Norman Vincent Peale
42. Whenever you find whole world against you just turn around and lead the world.
- Anonymous
43. Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant, Author and Advice Columnist
44. I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened by old ones.
- John Cage
45. Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.
- Albert Einstein
46. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
- Unknown
47. The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Unknown
48. Anyone can do something when they WANT to do it. Really successful people do things when they don't want to do it.
- Dr. Phil
49. There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
- Dr. Denis Waitley
50. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.
- Sir Winston Churchill
51. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
52. Attitudes are contagious. Make yours worth catching.
- Unknown
53. Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden
54. There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it.
- Mario Cuomo
55. Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.
- Richard Bach
56. Vision doesn't usually come as a lightening bolt. Rather it comes as a slow crystallization of life challenges that we one day recognize as a beautiful diamond with great value to ourselves and others.
- Dr. Michael Norwood
57. Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.
- Dr. Joyce Brothers
58. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett
59. Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses.
- Rosalind Russell
60. Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die
- Ray Norda, Chairman, Novell
61. Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track.
- Matthew Keith Groves
62. An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it.
- Bill Bernbach
63. An obstacle is often a stepping stone.
- Prescott
64. Life is "trying things to see if they work"
Ray Bradbury
65. If you worry about yesterday's failures, then today's successes will be few.
Anonymous
66. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Dennis P. Kimbro
67. We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
68. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
69. In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Thomas Jefferson
70. I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.
Albert Einstein
71. Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
Machiavelli.
72. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
Mahatma Gandhi
73. "You are what you think about all day long." -- Dr. Robert Schuller
74. What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say" -- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
75. “Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.”
Booker T. Washington
76. "Talent is formed in solitude, character in the bustle of the world."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
77. “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”
- Elbert Hubbard
78. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
- J.M. Power
79. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day
- Robert Frost
80. “I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
- Maya Angelou
81. “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
- William James
82. “When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'”
- Sydney Harris
83. “Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.”
- Richard L. Evans
84. “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.”
- Robert Frost
85. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt
86. Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
- Seneca
87. Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter Drucker.
88. The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
- Foster's Law
89. Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it.
- Joe Clark
90. I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill
91. Positive anything is better than negative thinking.
- Elbert Hubbard
92. People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
93. Those who wish to sing, always find a song.
- Swedish Proverb
94. If you're going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill
95. The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
96. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
- Voltaire
97. Enduring habits I hate.... Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits.
- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882
98. There is no education like adversity.
- Disraeli
99. He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
100. Adversity introduces a man to himself.
- Author Unknown
- Aristotle
2. The best way out is always through.
- Robert Frost
3. Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.
- William B. Sprague
4. Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein
5. Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.
- Henry Ford
6. I know for sure that what we dwell on is who we become.
- Oprah Winfrey
7. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan
8. You must be the change you want to see in the world.
- Mahatma Gandhi
9. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Goethe
10. You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
- Zig Ziglar
11. Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
- Mahatma Gandhi
12. Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
- Napoleon Hill
13. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
- Truman Capote
14. Vision without action is daydream. Action without vision is nightmare.
- Japanese Proverb
15. In any situation, the best thing you can do is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing; the worst thing you can do is nothing.
- Theodore Roosevelt
16. If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet.
- Isaac B. Singer
17. Success consists of doing the common things of life uncommonly well.
- Unknown
18. Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
- Charles F. Kettering, Engineer and Inventor
19. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
- Mark Twain
20. Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success.
- Unknown
21. Some succeed because they are destined. Some succeed because they are determined.
- Unknown
22. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford
23. Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.
- Albert Einstein
24. A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
- Hugh Downs
25. If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
- Marie Osmond
26. Remember that happiness is a way of travel, not a destination.
- Roy Goodman
27. If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.
- E. Joseph Cossman
28. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
29. We judge of man's wisdom by his hope.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
30. The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain
31. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
- Mark Twain
32. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
33. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain
34. The surest way not to fail is to determine to succeed.
- Richard B. Sheridan
35. Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step."
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
36. "Act or accept."
- Unanonymous
37. Many great ideas go unexecuted, and many great executioners are without ideas. One without the other is worthless.
- Tim Blixseth
38. The world is more malleable than you think and it's waiting for you to hammer it into shape.
- Bono
39. Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.
- Dr Phil
40. Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.
- Stephen R. Covey
41. People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success.
- Norman Vincent Peale
42. Whenever you find whole world against you just turn around and lead the world.
- Anonymous
43. Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant, Author and Advice Columnist
44. I can't understand why people are frightened by new ideas. I'm frightened by old ones.
- John Cage
45. Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others; it is the only means.
- Albert Einstein
46. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
- Unknown
47. The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Unknown
48. Anyone can do something when they WANT to do it. Really successful people do things when they don't want to do it.
- Dr. Phil
49. There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.
- Dr. Denis Waitley
50. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.
- Sir Winston Churchill
51. Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton
52. Attitudes are contagious. Make yours worth catching.
- Unknown
53. Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
- John Wooden
54. There are only two rules for being successful. One, figure out exactly what you want to do, and two, do it.
- Mario Cuomo
55. Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can.
- Richard Bach
56. Vision doesn't usually come as a lightening bolt. Rather it comes as a slow crystallization of life challenges that we one day recognize as a beautiful diamond with great value to ourselves and others.
- Dr. Michael Norwood
57. Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.
- Dr. Joyce Brothers
58. Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.
- Samuel Beckett
59. Flops are a part of life's menu and I've never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses.
- Rosalind Russell
60. Cause Change & Lead
Accept Change & Survive
Resist Change & Die
- Ray Norda, Chairman, Novell
61. Winners lose much more often than losers. So if you keep losing but you're still trying, keep it up! You're right on track.
- Matthew Keith Groves
62. An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it.
- Bill Bernbach
63. An obstacle is often a stepping stone.
- Prescott
64. Life is "trying things to see if they work"
Ray Bradbury
65. If you worry about yesterday's failures, then today's successes will be few.
Anonymous
66. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.
Dennis P. Kimbro
67. We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
68. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
69. In matters of style, swim with the current;
in matters of principle, stand like a rock.
Thomas Jefferson
70. I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.
Albert Einstein
71. Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great.
Machiavelli.
72. Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
Mahatma Gandhi
73. "You are what you think about all day long." -- Dr. Robert Schuller
74. What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say" -- Ralph Waldo Emerson"
75. “Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.”
Booker T. Washington
76. "Talent is formed in solitude, character in the bustle of the world."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
77. “To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”
- Elbert Hubbard
78. If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.
- J.M. Power
79. By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day
- Robert Frost
80. “I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
- Maya Angelou
81. “The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.”
- William James
82. “When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'”
- Sydney Harris
83. “Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.”
- Richard L. Evans
84. “In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.”
- Robert Frost
85. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt
86. Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
- Seneca
87. Do first things first, and second things not at all.
- Peter Drucker.
88. The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
- Foster's Law
89. Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it.
- Joe Clark
90. I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.
- Winston Churchill
91. Positive anything is better than negative thinking.
- Elbert Hubbard
92. People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
93. Those who wish to sing, always find a song.
- Swedish Proverb
94. If you're going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill
95. The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
96. Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.
- Voltaire
97. Enduring habits I hate.... Yes, at the very bottom of my soul I feel grateful to all my misery and bouts of sickness and everything about me that is imperfect, because this sort of thing leaves me with a hundred backdoors through which I can escape from enduring habits.
- Friedrich Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 1882
98. There is no education like adversity.
- Disraeli
99. He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
100. Adversity introduces a man to himself.
- Author Unknown
Friday, December 7, 2007
Monday, December 3, 2007
Top 12 Funniest Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
1. Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
2. Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
3. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
4. When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
5. One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
6. I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
7. A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
8. If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.
9. Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
10. And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!
11. I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
12. I have a mean kid too. Why he puts krazy glue in my preparation H.
2. Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
3. My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
4. When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
5. One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
6. I'm a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
7. A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
8. If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.
9. Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
10. And we were poor too. Why, if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have nothing to play with!
11. I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk to.
12. I have a mean kid too. Why he puts krazy glue in my preparation H.
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Friday, November 30, 2007
Seven Blunders of the World
The Seven Blunders of the World is a list that Mahatma Gandhi gave to his grandson Arun Gandhi, written on a piece of paper, on their final day together, not too long before his assassination. The seven blunders are:
- Wealth without work
- Pleasure without conscience
- Knowledge without character
- Commerce without morality
- Science without humanity
- Worship without sacrifice
- Politics without principle
This list grew from Gandhi's search for the roots of violence. He called these acts of passive violence. Preventing these is the best way to prevent oneself or one's society from reaching a point of violence.
To this list, Arun Gandhi added an eighth blunder, Rights without responsibilities.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Top 55 Tech Quotes
1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
10. -{----- The information went data way --------[
11. Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression
12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
14. The name is Baud......, James Baud.
15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
17. C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
19. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
23. E Pluribus Modem
24. ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny
26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/n)?
29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
31. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
40. All computers wait at the same speed.
41. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
42. Go ahead, make my data!
43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
50. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
55. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...
2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
4. 2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
5. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
6. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
7. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
8. C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
9. C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
10. -{----- The information went data way --------[
11. Best file compression around: "DEL ." = 100% compression
12. The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
13. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
14. The name is Baud......, James Baud.
15. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
16. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
17. C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
18. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
19. Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
20. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
21. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
22. Backups? We don' NEED no steenking backups.
23. E Pluribus Modem
24. ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
25. Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny
26. A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
27. An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
28. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/n)?
29. Does fuzzy logic tickle?
30. A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
31. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
32. 24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence?
33. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
34. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
35. SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
36. Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
37. Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
38. RAM disk is not an installation procedure.
39. Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
40. All computers wait at the same speed.
41. DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
42. Go ahead, make my data!
43. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
44. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
45. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
46. E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
47. Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
48. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
49. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
50. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
51. DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
52. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
53. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
54. Press any key...... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
55. Press CTRL-ALT-DEL to continue ...
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Top 8 Greatest Tech Quotes
1. Someone once said a million monkeys using a million keyboards could reproduce the complete works of William Shakespeare.Thanks to MySpace, we now know that to be entirely false.
2. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
3. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
4. Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
5. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
6. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.
7. Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes.
8. What do people mean when they say, "The computer went down on me."
2. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be.
3. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
4. Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
5. UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
6. Software is like sex: It's better when it's free.
7. Cool people are just idiots wearing pricy clothes.
8. What do people mean when they say, "The computer went down on me."
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Quotes on Character
If you really want to judge the character of a man, look not at his great performances. Every fool may become a hero at one time or another. Watch a man do his most common actions; these are indeed the things which will tell you the real character of a great man.
- Swami Vivekananda
Inspiration is much higher than reason, but it must not contradict it. Reason is the rough tool to do the hard work; inspiration is the bright light which shows us all truth. The will to do a thing is not necessarily inspiration.
- Swami Vivekananda
- Swami Vivekananda
Inspiration is much higher than reason, but it must not contradict it. Reason is the rough tool to do the hard work; inspiration is the bright light which shows us all truth. The will to do a thing is not necessarily inspiration.
- Swami Vivekananda
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Philosophy Quotes
We come to enjoy; we are being enjoyed. We came to rule; we are being ruled. We came to work; we are being worked. All the time, we find that. And this comes into every detail of our life. We are being worked upon by other minds, and we are always struggling to work on other minds. We want to enjoy the pleasures of life, and they eat into our vitals. We want to get everything from nature, but we find in the long run that nature takes everything from us - depletes us, and casts up aside.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Gas Prices Around The World
US is still has one of the lowest gas prices in the world.
Looking for inspiration? What about friendship and love? Well, don't look too hard, you'll hurt yourself. In the meantime, check out our free dating sites. There's bound to be someone out there to keep you company.
Looking for inspiration? What about friendship and love? Well, don't look too hard, you'll hurt yourself. In the meantime, check out our free dating sites. There's bound to be someone out there to keep you company.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Famous Quotes
"When Alexander the Great visited Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for the famed teacher, Diogenes replied: 'Only stand out of my light.' Perhaps some day we shall know how to heighten creativity. Until then, one of the best things we can do for creative men and women is to stand out of their light."
- John W. Gardner
"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last."
- Winston Churchill
"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now."
- Anonymous
- John W. Gardner
"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile - hoping it will eat him last."
- Winston Churchill
"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now."
- Anonymous
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes
A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
Every church is a stone on the grave of a god-man: it does not want him to rise up again under any circumstances.
Fear is the mother of morality.
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
Every church is a stone on the grave of a god-man: it does not want him to rise up again under any circumstances.
Fear is the mother of morality.
He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Robert Frost Quotes
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It Goes On.
A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It Goes On.
A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Aristotle Quotes
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.
Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.
If things do not turn out as we wish, we should wish for them as they turn out.
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them.
If things do not turn out as we wish, we should wish for them as they turn out.
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Famous Quotes
A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.
- John F. Kennedy
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
- Barnett Brickner
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Tom Stoppard
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
- Frank Leahy
Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know.
- Bertrand Russell
- John F. Kennedy
Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
- Barnett Brickner
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Tom Stoppard
Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.
- Frank Leahy
Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know.
- Bertrand Russell
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Get Ron Paul on Meet the Press
Tim Russert said on "Meet the Press" this morning that he will beinterviewing only "major" candidates in his "Meet the Candidates" series. Email and let him know that you consider Ron Paul a major candidate.
Please send him an email here:
Sunday, May 13, 2007
101 Greatest Quotes from George Carlin
1. I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
2. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
3. Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!
4. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
5. Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
6. I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.
7. I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American — you know, you grow.
8. You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
9. If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
10. Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
11. If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
12. No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
13. There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.
14. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
15. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
16. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
17. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
18. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
19. If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
20. If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
21. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
22. Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
23. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”
24. As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
25. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
26. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
27. I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
28. I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
29. If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.
30. You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.
31. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
32. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
33. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
34. I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
35. I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
36. When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.
37. Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
38. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
39. I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook.
40. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
41. Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
42. So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.
43. Catholic — which I was until I reached the age of reason.
44. Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
45. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
46. Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
47. Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
48. God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
49. I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
50. One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.
51. If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?
52. What year did Jesus think it was?
53. George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
54. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
55. In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
56. Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
57. “One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
58. No one who has had “Taps” played for them has ever been able to hear it.
59. Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.
60. The best thing about living at the water’s edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.
61. The future will soon be a thing of the past.
62. The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
63. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
64. Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
65. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
66. I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
67. Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.
68. “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
69. Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
70. And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”
71. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
72. Whoever coined the term “Buyer Beware” was probably bleeding from the asshole.
73. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
74. Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?
75. I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.
76. Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.
77. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
78. If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
79. “Meow” means “woof” in cat.
80. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
81. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
82. “No comment” is a comment.
83. If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
84. You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
85. Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.
86. So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
87. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
88. Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
89. When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn’t a lot worth paying attention to.
90. The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.
91. I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
92. If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!
93. Hooray for most things!
94. Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.
95. I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
96. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
97. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
98. Life is a zero sum game.
99. Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.
100. I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
101. It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
2. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
3. Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!
4. A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
5. Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?
6. I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.
7. I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I’m an American — you know, you grow.
8. You can’t fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
9. If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
10. Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
11. If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
12. No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
13. There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.
14. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
15. The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
16. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
17. Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
18. Weather forecast for tonight: Dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
19. If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.
20. If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.
21. You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
22. Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
23. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, “You show me a tropical fruit and I’ll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala.”
24. As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.
25. If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
26. The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
27. I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
28. I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
29. If you’ve got a cat and a leg, you’ve got a happy cat. If you’ve got a cat and two legs, you’ve got a party.
30. You can prick your finger — just don’t finger your prick.
31. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
32. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
33. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
34. I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions.
35. I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
36. When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat.
37. Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.
38. I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos.
39. I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don’t trust any organization that has a handbook.
40. I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
41. Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place? There’s such balance in nature.
42. So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.
43. Catholic — which I was until I reached the age of reason.
44. Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.”
45. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them; I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
46. Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
47. Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
48. God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
49. I’ve never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
50. One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you’re too tired.
51. If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense?
52. What year did Jesus think it was?
53. George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.
54. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
55. In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.
56. Once you leave the womb, conservatives don’t care about you until you reach military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
57. “One thing leads to another”? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
58. No one who has had “Taps” played for them has ever been able to hear it.
59. Property is theft. Nobody “owns” anything. When you die, it all stays here.
60. The best thing about living at the water’s edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.
61. The future will soon be a thing of the past.
62. The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
63. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
64. Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
65. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
66. I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
67. Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.
68. “When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?” This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
69. Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
70. And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National Institute of Pancakes: It reads, and I quote, “Fuck waffles.”
71. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
72. Whoever coined the term “Buyer Beware” was probably bleeding from the asshole.
73. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
74. Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?
75. I’m always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I’m listening to it.
76. Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin’ ready to hang himself.
77. The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
78. If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
79. “Meow” means “woof” in cat.
80. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
81. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
82. “No comment” is a comment.
83. If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.
84. You can’t argue with a good blowjob.
85. Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it’s because at the moment they’re not actually dying.
86. So far, this is the oldest I’ve been.
87. Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck.
88. Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
89. When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn’t a lot worth paying attention to.
90. The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren’t quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.
91. I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
92. If the cops didn’t see it, I didn’t do it!
93. Hooray for most things!
94. Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.
95. I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
96. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
97. May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
98. Life is a zero sum game.
99. Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.
100. I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
101. It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Great Quotes by Henry David Thoreau
A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.
A perfectly healthy sentence, it is true, is extremely rare. For the most part we miss the hue and fragrance of the thought; as if we could be satisfied with the dews of the morning or evening without their colors, or the heavens without their azure.
A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
The world is but a canvas to the imagination.
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.
A perfectly healthy sentence, it is true, is extremely rare. For the most part we miss the hue and fragrance of the thought; as if we could be satisfied with the dews of the morning or evening without their colors, or the heavens without their azure.
A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.
Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.
The world is but a canvas to the imagination.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Ron Paul - One of the Best Candidates We Have Ever Had
Ron Paul is one of the best candidates we have ever had. I have found some information about him from Digg.com and other sources.
Please spread the word about him because the media isn't doing it. If you are a blogger I highly encourage you to post his videos and show the people they have a real option instead of just choosing a puppet from the left or the puppet from the right.
Brief Overview of Congressman Paul's Record
* He has never voted to raise taxes.
* He has never voted for an unbalanced budget.
* He has never voted for a federal restriction on gun ownership.
* He has never voted to raise congressional pay.
* He has never taken a government-paid junket.
* He has never voted to increase the power of the executive branch.
* He voted against the Patriot Act.
* He voted against regulating the Internet.
* He voted against the Iraq war.
Ron Paul on the federal reserve
Dorm room interview part 1
Dorm room interview part 4
Announcing his Candidacy for President
The GOP Debate
WMUR questions
Unaffordable war
Dartmouth college interview
AND he's against the North "American" Union
Monday, May 7, 2007
Friday, May 4, 2007
Ron Paul at the GOP Presidential Debate
This is a montage of Congressman Ron Paul at the GOP Presidential Debate held at the Reagan Library on May 3rd, 2007. Ron Paul and Mike Gravel stick out as the only refreshing candidates who are not afraid who do not give canned responses that everyone wants to hear.
Representative Ron Paul was spectacular and brilliant, pointing out the house of cards for what it is.
Representative Ron Paul was spectacular and brilliant, pointing out the house of cards for what it is.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Chris Matthews Interviews Mike Gravel
Excellent comment by a Digg user about the campaign of Mike Gravel.
"My message to the Digg community and those who are aware/pessimistic of Mr. Gravel's campaign is this:
The chances may seem slim for him to be elected President because of our outlook of society and those currently inhabiting it. But because of this assumption and doubt, we are already creating failure in our own minds and those who read it. We MUST realize that we, as a nation - and above all else - a society of equal human beings - is that his presidency IS POSSIBLE. We as a nation are in a disastrous war BECAUSE OF OUR APATHY AND PASSIVE ATTITUDE - we must not let this continue any farther. Whether you're a Republican, Democrat,or a human being - I am positive you can all agree upon the value of life - no matter what your definition of it is. So if you truly value Mr. Gravel's candidacy PLEASE express your voice, your power, you individuality. If you do not, then please express yourself to those who you feel properly represent you. The message here is less of "Go Gravel! Go!" but a message in hope that individuals such as yourself will triumph through even when the odds "appear" to be stacked against you. We must NOT FAIL OURSELVES."
We may be weak alone, but there IS strength in numbers. It all starts with one person, one moment. Let us bring a better future for our children, and our children's children. We CAN do this. For the sake of society as we hope it, we NEED to do this."
"My message to the Digg community and those who are aware/pessimistic of Mr. Gravel's campaign is this:
The chances may seem slim for him to be elected President because of our outlook of society and those currently inhabiting it. But because of this assumption and doubt, we are already creating failure in our own minds and those who read it. We MUST realize that we, as a nation - and above all else - a society of equal human beings - is that his presidency IS POSSIBLE. We as a nation are in a disastrous war BECAUSE OF OUR APATHY AND PASSIVE ATTITUDE - we must not let this continue any farther. Whether you're a Republican, Democrat,or a human being - I am positive you can all agree upon the value of life - no matter what your definition of it is. So if you truly value Mr. Gravel's candidacy PLEASE express your voice, your power, you individuality. If you do not, then please express yourself to those who you feel properly represent you. The message here is less of "Go Gravel! Go!" but a message in hope that individuals such as yourself will triumph through even when the odds "appear" to be stacked against you. We must NOT FAIL OURSELVES."
We may be weak alone, but there IS strength in numbers. It all starts with one person, one moment. Let us bring a better future for our children, and our children's children. We CAN do this. For the sake of society as we hope it, we NEED to do this."
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Bill Moyers Interviews Jon Stewart
Bill Moyers interviews Jon Stewart from the Daily Show. They discuss everything from virginia tech shooting to government transparency, to the war on terror.
The Best Candidate So Far - Mike Gravel
Mike Gravel is the best candidate from the Democratic side so far. Now lets just hope he wins.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Most Controversial Quotes by Hitler
Chamberlain seemed such a nice old gentleman that I thought I would give him my autograph.
The art of leadership... consists in consolidating the attention of the people against a single adversary and taking care that nothing will split up that attention.
Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.
I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature.
If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.
It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge.
Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
The art of leadership... consists in consolidating the attention of the people against a single adversary and taking care that nothing will split up that attention.
Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.
I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature.
If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.
It is always more difficult to fight against faith than against knowledge.
Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Quotes on Charity
So long as millions live in hunger and ignorance, I hold every person a traitor who, having been educated at their expense, pays not the least heed to them.
- Quotes on Charity by Swami Vivekananda
- Quotes on Charity by Swami Vivekananda
Quotes on Religion
My name should not be made prominent. It is my ideas that I want to see realized. The disciples of all the prophets have always inextricably mixed up the ideas of the Master with person, and at last killed the ideas for the person.
- Swami Vivekananda Quotes on Religion
- Swami Vivekananda Quotes on Religion
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Top 10 Love Quotes
10) Passionate love is a quenchless thirst.
Quote by Kahlil Gibran.
9) Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important.
Quote by Lisa Hoffman.
8) Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.
- Quotes by Henry Van Dyke.
7)Love is a canvas furnished by Nature
and embroidered by imagination.
- Love Quotes by Voltaire.
6) Love is an energy - it can neither be created
nor destroyed. It just is and always will be,
giving meaning to life and direction to goodness...
Love will never die.
Quotes by Bryce Courtney.
5) Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength
while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Quotes by Lao-Tsu.
4) Tell me who admires and loves you,
And I will tell you who you are.
3) Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.
2) You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.
- Hermann Hesse Famous Love Quotes
1) I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.
- Robert Fulghum
Quote by Kahlil Gibran.
9) Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and very important.
Quote by Lisa Hoffman.
8) Time is too slow for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.
- Quotes by Henry Van Dyke.
7)Love is a canvas furnished by Nature
and embroidered by imagination.
- Love Quotes by Voltaire.
6) Love is an energy - it can neither be created
nor destroyed. It just is and always will be,
giving meaning to life and direction to goodness...
Love will never die.
Quotes by Bryce Courtney.
5) Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength
while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Quotes by Lao-Tsu.
4) Tell me who admires and loves you,
And I will tell you who you are.
3) Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite a virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.
2) You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.
- Hermann Hesse Famous Love Quotes
1) I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -- myth is more potent than history -- dreams are more powerful than facts -- hope always triumphs over experience -- laughter is the cure for grief -- love is stronger than death.
- Robert Fulghum
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Video - Bill Maher New Rules 4/20
Bill Maher's commentary on the new phenomena of disappearing bees.
Famous Quotes
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
- Famous Quotes by Plato
We don't accomplish anything in this world alone, and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.
- Short Quotes by Sandra Day O'Connor
Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance, is the death of knowledge.
- Alfred North Whitehead Short Quotes
- Famous Quotes by Plato
We don't accomplish anything in this world alone, and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one's life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.
- Short Quotes by Sandra Day O'Connor
Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance, is the death of knowledge.
- Alfred North Whitehead Short Quotes
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Late Night Show Quotes
It’s tax season. Earlier to day, Britney Spears checked herself into an H&R Block.
- David Letterman Quotes
New York was so cold today, people were shaking like Don Imus at the Apollo Theatre.
- Jay Leno Quotes
According to Glamour magazine, it takes the average woman 11 minutes to get aroused. The problem is that by the time the average woman is aroused the guy’s been asleep for nine minutes.
- Jay Leno Quotes
Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter has filed papers to run for president, but in his official filing, he misspelled the word 'president.' Political experts say it's all part of Hunter's plan to attract Bush supporters.
-Conan O'Brien
Inspiration can come in many forms. If you need a reminder of that person most special to you, consider getting them a love charm. Our wholesale silver charms and jewelry are the best in the industry. If you're looking for wholesale sterling, look no further. Inpiration is a click away!
- David Letterman Quotes
New York was so cold today, people were shaking like Don Imus at the Apollo Theatre.
- Jay Leno Quotes
According to Glamour magazine, it takes the average woman 11 minutes to get aroused. The problem is that by the time the average woman is aroused the guy’s been asleep for nine minutes.
- Jay Leno Quotes
Republican Congressman Duncan Hunter has filed papers to run for president, but in his official filing, he misspelled the word 'president.' Political experts say it's all part of Hunter's plan to attract Bush supporters.
-Conan O'Brien
Inspiration can come in many forms. If you need a reminder of that person most special to you, consider getting them a love charm. Our wholesale silver charms and jewelry are the best in the industry. If you're looking for wholesale sterling, look no further. Inpiration is a click away!
Monday, April 9, 2007
Funny Quotes
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Edison Funny Quotes and Sayings
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
- Carl Sandburg Funny Sayings
- Thomas Edison Funny Quotes and Sayings
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
- Carl Sandburg Funny Sayings
Friday, April 6, 2007
Benjamin Franklin Quotes
Who is wise? He that learns from every One.
Who is powerful? He that governs his Passions.
Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.
- Benjamin Franklin Famous Short Quotes
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Famous Funny Quotes
It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.
- Contributed by Douglas Novack
I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
- Famous quote by Susan B. Anthony
- Contributed by Douglas Novack
I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
- Famous quote by Susan B. Anthony
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Chris Rock Quotes
When LIFE asked comic Chris Rock if America is ready for an African American president, Rock tells LIFE:
"It's ready for a retarded president, why wouldn't it be ready for an African American president?"
"It's ready for a retarded president, why wouldn't it be ready for an African American president?"
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Success Quotes - Motivational, Inspirational
WHAT IS SUCCESS?
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child
a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.
—Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Monday, February 5, 2007
Daily Quotes
There is wisdom in turning as often as possible from the familiar to the unfamiliar: it keeps the mind nimble, it kills prejudice, and it fosters humor.
- George Santayana Short Quotes
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
Johann Wolfgang van Goethe
This week at a fashion show in Rome, a line of dresses were introduced that feature huge pictures of Hillary Clinton’s face. When he heard this, Bill Clinton said, "Finally, Hillary’s face on another woman’s body.”
- Conan O' Brien
- George Santayana Short Quotes
None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.
Johann Wolfgang van Goethe
This week at a fashion show in Rome, a line of dresses were introduced that feature huge pictures of Hillary Clinton’s face. When he heard this, Bill Clinton said, "Finally, Hillary’s face on another woman’s body.”
- Conan O' Brien
Thursday, January 11, 2007
UNDERWEAR GOES INSIDE THE PANTS
Taken from the stand up routine of brilliant comic Greg Geraldo..
Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what’s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is…
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.
The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don’t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?
Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
They’re not masterminds.
“OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
“Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…”
“Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”
Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
“How’d you get through it grandpa?”
“Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”
Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I’ll sit at a drive thru.
I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
“You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”
We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.
Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what’s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is…
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.
The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don’t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?
Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
They’re not masterminds.
“OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
“Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…”
“Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”
Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
“How’d you get through it grandpa?”
“Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”
Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I’ll sit at a drive thru.
I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
“You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”
We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.
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